North Carolina Society for Ethical Culture
Spirituality Without God
By Randy Best, President & Adjunct Leader, Leader-in-Training, N.C. Society for Ethical Culture
and Kate Lovelady, Poet, Leader-in-Traning
A platform talk given on June 9, 2002
Comments by Randy Best .Comments by Kate Lovelady .
Is "Spirituality Without God" an oxymoron?
Comments by Randy Best
This is what I propose to explore today.
I recognize myself as "Spiritually Challenged". In light of this self-awareness, I decided that I needed something really basic - so I chose the book: Spirituality for Dummies by Sharon Janis. It seemed appropriate. It presents a general overview of Spirituality, informed mostly by Hinduism.
I also read two books recommended by friends:
Maryanne Savage recommended: Awakening to the Sacred by Lama Surya Das; a book with a popularized Buddhist perspective; and,
Ellen McBride recommended: The Sacred Depths of Nature by Ursula Goodenough. It explores Spirituality through Science and Nature.
From my earlier readings I dredged forth:
William James’ The Varieties of Religious Experience and a story that I used to read to my Children, The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.
I also went on an accidental Pilgrimage of sorts, to a nearby sacred site that attracts Spiritual Seekers – I went to Ashville.
Even after completing my studies I have some reservations about my qualifications to undertake this talk on Spirituality.
I am biased. I am grounded in philosophical naturalism – a view that is skeptical of unseen forces. Yet I believe that insight and wisdom can be gained through exploring the thoughts and experiences of others – especially when they are radically different from my own. I found this to be true with Spirituality.
In Awakening to the Sacred Lama Surya Das wrote about Spiritual Seekers:
As spiritual wayfarers what do we think about? Divine Presence, God, spirit, soul, reality, truth, self-knowledge, mystical experience, inner peace, enlightenment. The spiritual life is concerned with issues such as these.
As seekers, we intuitively believe that the visible world we live in is part of a greater spiritual universe. We aspire to somehow experience a more palpable connection with that sacred universe. We sincerely believe that it is possible to become part of that universe by actualizing the divine light or spirit that is found within each of us.
As seekers, you and I search for illumination and guidance. We want understanding – not only of our immediate problems but also of the great mysteries of the universe. We want to be able to move from murky illusion and confusion to wisdom, certainty, and clarity. We want to go from delusion to truth; we want the promise that we will be able to escape the darkness of the soul’s infernal regions and make it to a place of infinite luminous peace, contentment, and divine unconditional love. We want to leave ignorance and unconsciousness as well as semiconscious behavior behind. We know that the antidote to ignorance isn’t just more information. We know that our spiritual life depends on our being able to cultivate a higher consciousness – a mindful consciousness – as well as greater awareness. We know that our spiritual life depends on cultivating our own capacity to love.
Since I am not a Spiritual Seeker, much of what motivates Surya Das does not speak to me. I am not looking for a connection to the divine or a glimpse of the true reality that lies behind this veil of illusion. I am not drawn to prayer and ritual. Perhaps my naturalism prevents me from absorbing these ideas. However, I share the Lama’s desire to cultivate mindfulness, greater awareness and my capacity to love.
If I do not accept the dualism inherent in the concept of the soul and something more real than my day-to-day experience – what is left for me to form my spirituality?
Felix Adler, who founded the Ethical Culture Movement, said that:
Spirituality is consciousness of infinite interrelatedness.
Adler believed that we were all spiritually connected to each other.
For me, Spirituality is experience and Spirituality is mystery.
Have you ever experienced a profound feeling of transcendence when everything seems to fall perfectly into place? … a transforming moment of empathy and connection to someone or a blissful apprehension of nature, music, or art?
I know that, on rare occasions, I have experienced such transcendent moments.
Albert Einstein said:
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, his eyes are closed.
William James talked about mystical states in his book The Varieties of Religious Experience. He wrote:
To the medical mind these ecstasies signify nothing but suggested and imitated hypnoid states, on an intellectual basis of superstition, and a corporeal one of degeneration and hysteria. Undoubtedly these pathological conditions have existed in many and perhaps all the cases, but that fact tells us nothing about the value for knowledge of the consciousness which they induce. To pass a spiritual judgment on these states, we must not content ourselves with superficial medical talk, but inquire into their fruits for life.
After a meeting of Ethical Culture Leaders two years ago that included a mini-workshop on spirituality, I came up with the following definition of Humanist Spirituality:
A feeling of inter-connectedness in which we transcend ourselves and experience a profound connection to Nature, the Human Community, or the Universe.
My thinking has changed some since I penned my this definition.
I now see Humanist Spirituality, at its’ best, as centered in Human Relationships; in empathy sympathy, and compassion. Encountering this human connection can be a transforming – even a transcendent experience.
Martin Buber, the philosopher, scholar and social activist, identified such a connection in his philosophy of Dialogue, described in his work, "Ich und Du", translated as "I and Thou."
Buber postulates two qualitatively different types of relationship: I-Thou and I-It.
I-It relationships are characterized by relating to things as objects for your use. Utility, causality, or social and economic forces govern I-It relationships.
In contrast to this, Buber presents the model of an I-Thou relationship.
I-Thou relationships are characterized as a relationship, between oneself and the world, of mutuality, openness, and directness - a true dialogue – a deep sense of personal involvement. The I confronts its Thou not as something to be studied, measured, or manipulated, but as a unique presence that responds to the I in its individuality.
Buber rejects the idea that people are isolated, autonomous agents operating according to abstract rules. Instead, reality arises between agents as they encounter and transform each other.
Martin Buber took his I-Thou philosophy one step further. He believed that we could ultimately approach everything as a sacred I-Thou relationship. He wrote:
In every sphere in its own way, through each process of becoming that is present to us we look out toward the fringe of the eternal Thou. In each we are aware of a breath from the eternal Thou; in each Thou we address the eternal Thou.
Martin Buber believed that each thing we encounter could be a Thou if we choose to see it as such. His I-Thou philosophy introduces a Spiritual dimension to human relations. This type of relational Spirituality is not dependent on God.
Another type of Spiritually without God is found in Ursula Goodenough’s book, The Sacred Depths of Nature.
As a Biologist, Professor Goodenough finds profound awe and wonder in the complexities of evolution, DNA replication, bio-diversity, and the human brain. Her book includes descriptions of these processes and her reflections about them. In her reflection on the brain and awareness she writes:
Throughout religious history, mystical experiences have often been interpreted as the apprehensions of the Divine within or the numinous Other, and they are actively sought in prayer and ritual. In western traditions we say that we are aware of a Spirit, that we are comprehended by something much larger, deeper, more valuable and more enduring than ourselves and the finite universe. The encounter is inward, intensely personal, and described, if at all, with halting tongue. In Asian traditions the religious person seeks in meditation an emptying out, a receptivity, in order to experience an at-one-ness, a spiritual communion with the universe, Enlightenment.
So we raise our eyes to the heavens and we ask, Is this Other? Is this God? Is this the Perfection of Understanding? Or are these overwhelmingly powerful mental experiences, with Immanence a particularly intense form of self-awareness and Enlightenment a detachment from self-awareness so that all else can penetrate? How can we tell? And then: Does it matter?
As a non-theist, I find I can only think about these experiences as wondrous mental phenomena. But in the end it doesn’t matter: All of us are transformed by their power.
I do not deny the existence or power of mystical, spiritual experience. However, in my mind it is less important than a spirituality based on caring and interaction with others.
This sentiment was borne out in my pilgrimage to Asheville.
I find that when I am working on a topic for a talk, everything that I experience is seen through this lense.
While wandering around Asheville, a magnet for all manner of seekers, I stopped into a small shop and found a back room with Hindu and Buddhist altars, incense and flowers.
While having lunch at the Food Co-op, I eavesdropped on a conversation at a neighboring table. Rip van Winkle was talking with Pipi Longstocking about which part of the Maya world creation cycle we were in, astrology, and the points made at a recent talk by a guru that they attended. This contrasted with an article that I picked up at a coffeehouse earlier in the day.
I would like to read it in its’ entirety.
It was a guest column in the ASHEVILLE CITIZEN TIMES from Wednesday, November 11, 1998 entitled:
"True spirituality easier said than done", by Richard Puia
As the owner/operator of a coffeehouse in downtown Asheville, I have had the opportunity of meeting and serving a diverse group of customers. Our clientele includes everyone from executives in suits to tourists and homeless wanderers wearing whatever they can find. Over the years, I have been approached, on occasion, by customers who ask why I permit people that they deem undesirable in my establishment. One regular customer, after seeing a group of "skin heads" sitting at a table, told me that he would not come back unless I stopped them from coming in again. My response was that even though I did not agree with their bigoted views, I would be just like them if I did as he said.
Which brings me to the subject of spiritualism. Asheville has a lot of people talking about how spiritual they are. I agree that this is a special place and that there are many people here who are on the spiritual road. However, it's easy to hold the banner of religion or spirituality over your head while saying or doing things that are in no way spiritual. If your spirituality does not manifest itself into a life that is guided by the "Golden Rule" and dedicated to bringing love, encouragement, optimism, joy and acceptance to those around you, then, you may be "talking the talk" but, you are surely not "walking the walk."
Those who have reached a higher Spiritual level do not have to proclaim their spirituality. You know them by their actions. They do not have to walk in your shoes to feel your pain or to know what to do or say to bring joy into your life. They praise your accomplishments no matter how small and lift your spirits when they fall. They are nice people who enter your life without any preconceived attitudes or judgments.
A spiritual person does not abide by the saying "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" because, if you come from a place of love, you can always find the words to honor another's choices.
Those who have reached a higher level of wisdom and spirituality have overcome the fear that holds others hack from the truth that comes only from within. They do not have to look to external sources for spiritual guidance, for they are the guides. They are there to help others overcome the fear and negativity that keeps them searching, but never finding, the meaning of their existence.
Spiritual people find more joy in a life of giving than in receiving. They find hope and optimism where others find doubt. They honor your life as well as that of all living things. They feel good about themselves so they can honor and accept your choices without having to criticize or find fault in order to make themselves feel better.
True spirituality is easy to achieve once you dig deep enough to find that place of love that you had as a child. A place that over the years has been covered over by doubt, pessimism, negativity, prejudice and fear.
Spirituality is a mother kissing a child and saying that it's OK. It's a teacher taking the time to encourage a student who is having a hard time in class. It's praising an artist for his effort rather than criticizing because it is not your style. It's making another person feel special. It's being honest with yourself and ethical in your dealings with others.
People who come from a place of spirituality and love find beauty in all of nature's creation and would never intentionally hit, hurt or destroy another living creature unless they were protecting themselves or another loved one.
They know that we are all connected and they honor and cherish the planet that has given life to all of us.
Spirituality is standing up for the rights of others to speak their views, even those you do not agree with. It's knowing that you are no better or worse than anyone else because of your color, religious belief, position in life or life style.
Spirituality is unconditional love and acceptance in its truest form.
I, too, am trying to get there.
To close my talk today, I want to share with you the story of another Spiritual Seeker that I encountered in my research, The Velveteen Rabbit.
The Velveteen Rabbit longed to become real, truly real – not merely functional, like the mechanical toys. In the end of the story, the Velveteen Rabbit does become real, with the help of the Nursery Magic Fairy. This transformation was made possible by the love of a child who came to see the Velveteen Rabbit as real – by the transforming power of a child’s love.
I see the transforming power of our caring relationships as the highest expression of Humanist Spirituality – and I too am trying to get there.
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Comments by Kate Lovelady
A month or so ago, I invited some members and friends of the Ethical Society to my house to discuss spirituality. I had recently heard a few people say that although they liked Ethical Culture--the people they met here, the information in our platforms, the social action projects we sponsor--they weren’t sure this group met their spiritual needs. I wanted to know what people mean when they talk about their spiritual needs, and how people find ways to fulfill them, so one evening about nine of us got together to talk.
And I found, both that night and since in talking to people, that there’s a general consensus on what a spiritual state feels like—as Randy described so beautifully, it’s a state in which we sense the invisible connections that exist between ourselves and others, and between ourselves and nature. It’s a feeling, as one person said that night, "that everything is right and I’m in my right place." It’s a moment when we experience awe and wonder and a sense of meaning. People most often mentioned feeling spiritual in nature, or when listening to music, but others said they felt most spiritual when working with others on something they believed was meaningful, or when they spent time with their children.
People keep saying that humanistic spirituality is a controversial topic, but it isn’t. Spirituality is a given. Psychology and anthropology bear out that people all over the world experience occasional feelings of transcendence and interconnection—different cultures and different people describe this state in their own way and have their own explanations for where it comes from and what it means. No doubt there are some bigoted people who might deny that humanists are spiritual—but is it really people like that we’re concerned about? Why is there a need for two articles in this month’s AEU Dialogue magazine arguing for the existence of humanistic spirituality? It’s not Bigfoot. Where is the controversy? What is it we’re really talking about?
Some difficult questions lie behind this issue. Questions such as: Why do some people make an involuntary face when they hear the word "spirituality," and how do we open ourselves to spirituality without alienating them? And, what I think is the fundamental question: How is spirituality related to Ethical religion?
Because generally, the people who are suspicious of spirituality also don’t like the idea that Ethical Culture is a religion. To them, both "spirituality" and "religion" are fraught with baggage from traditional religion, and the words connote supernaturalism, dogma, a drifting away from a focus on ethics, and general New Age silliness.
At least, that’s what I used to think. And I’m still burdened with some negative feelings about the word "spirituality"; but, trying to think about the topic in an objective way, the words "spiritual" and "spirituality" obviously come from "spirit." "Spirit" comes from a Latin word meaning "breath"—therefore to me, the word "spirituality" is closest to the word "inspiration." And I am coming to believe more and more that spirituality in that sense is not only a nice thing to have, something that makes the right-brained people happy, but that as breath is essential to life, spirituality is essential to an active, committed, inspired ethical life and an Ethical Culture Society.
I read a very interesting exchange in a magazine called "Spirituality and Health," which I normally would have been too much of a snob to pick up but which I read on an airplane, and I’m very glad I did. The exchange was a series of letters between a New Age seeker and a Christian scholar, Huston Smith. And in this "spirituality v. religion" argument, I was struck forcibly by a point Smith made.
He said, "In the public mind spirituality gets the good points, religion the bad marks. Of which there are, needless to say, many, but I find little effort to balance the account responsibly." He then lists social justice projects that mainline churches have taken on in the past several decades, from civil rights to El Salvador protests to soup kitchens and other charitable acts. He admitted to liking some aspects of the New Age movement, such as its optimism, but he emphasized that what many deride about religion, the fact that it is organized, is also what makes it possible for religion to promote justice and relieve suffering in the world.
Organized religion has, of course, also promoted injustice and created suffering at times, just as some governments protect freedoms and other governments take them away. But I think that those who would reject religion entirely because of the wrongs of many religions are like those who become anarchists because no government is good enough. Personally, I’ve been in too many nonhierarchical groups that went nowhere to be an advocate of anarchy anymore.
Now as I said I have plenty of baggage that makes me squirm at the words "religion" and "spirituality," but I’m not going to give them up just because other people have done things in their name that I don’t like. These concepts are too important to surrender. I realize that to become the effective, powerful, joyful, ethical person I would like to become, I need religion and spirituality—they are, respectively, the car and the fuel that makes the car go. Without a community of people who care about creating a better world, who have skills and abilities to offer, without organization, I’m just one person with vague impulses to do good. I need the car to help my ethical principles go somewhere. At the same time, there are lots of do-gooding organizations out there, ethical and well-meaning, but I need our shared inspiration, our shared faith in humanity, our ideals of bringing out the best in each other, I need our shared humanistic belief that we can make our own meanings in this lifetime and that that is not just good enough but wonderful—I need that gas in my ethical car to make it go. Because there’s a lot of bad news out there. There are lots of people not trying to bring out my best. To be an ethical person, I need good information, good organization, and good inspiration.
So now we come to the "So what?" part. The part when I’m writing a platform when I begin talking to myself and say, "That’s nice, Kate, but so what?" Even if we pretend that every person here agrees that yes, we all at times experience feelings of profound interconnection, and this is a good feeling, and it helps inspire our attempts to be more ethical, and yes I’ll even call it spirituality if it’ll make Kate and Randy happy—So what? What does this mean that we should do?
Because I think we need to do something. We need to keep evolving as people and as an Ethical Society. We’re working on the car—to continue my somewhat silly metaphor—we have committees and projects organizing and focusing our desires to help educate children, to reach out to the community, to affect political policy. We need to keep working on the car. But we need to think more about how we're fueling the car. And the Carrboro Arts Council may fire me as Poet Laureate for image abuse, but I think we need to refine the gas we’re putting in this car. Meaning, we need to find humanistic ways to inspire more people—this inspiration could come from our language, or from new or modified activities, or even from rituals. And let me say here that a ritual is simply something that you do on a regular basis, and that provides a sense of stability and comfort—reading a bedtime story is a ritual, or drinking tea every morning.
And just to reassure those who equate spirituality with naked drum circles, let me relate a few things that the women who came to my house said they equated with a more spiritual feeling: small groups, humor, stories, dealing with the practical ethical issues in our personal lives, music, opportunities to get to know each other better, opportunities to feel present in the moment.
I’m not going to advocate for anything specific today, because this is obviously something we’re all going to have to figure out together, assuming we decide we want to do anything at all about it. But I am going to advocate that we remind ourselves continually that we are a community that has faith in humanity, and that sees all people as connected, and that we’re here to help bring out the best in each other. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of becoming negative and cynical, of dissecting policy and forgetting the individual people involved in every "issue." It’s hard to let go of the frustration many of us feel as humanists, as agnostics, as atheists, or simply as "none of the above" in a country that proclaims itself to be "under God." But if we fill our tanks (I’m so sorry I couldn’t come up with a better metaphor) with cynicism, with negativity, with antireligious anger, our car is just going to make some ugly knocking noises and it’s not going to go anywhere. But furthermore, I believe that if we fill our tank with only facts and information, even if we add friendliness and good snacks, our car is going to go very slow. If I could do a decent William Shatner impression I would say, "Scotty, we need more power!"
If we want to develop ethical personalities, if we want our society to become a powerful force for ethics in our community, we need powerful inspiration. Let’s not be afraid of it.
